13 questions that will change your life

13 questions that will change your life13 questions that will change your lifeWhen things arent going quite the way youd like them to, its often the result of elend asking yourself the right questions. Some questions are hard to confront because youre afraid you wont get the answer you want, others because you really dont want to know the answer.But the best things in life dont come easily, and turning away from lifes toughest questions is a sure path to mediocrity. I believe that Socrates said it bestThe unexamined life isnt worth living.Socrates observation also applies to business. When Eric Schmidt welches CEO of Google, he famously said, We run this company on questions, leid answers.Life, like business, runs on questions, not answers. Lets take a closer look at some of the tough questions we should be asking ourselves regularly.How do people landsee me differently than I see myself?Have you ever heard a recording of your voice and thought, Isthatwhat I really sound like? Becaus e of the way the sound of the voice travels through the menschenfreundlich skull, we never hear ourselves the same way that everybody else hears us. The same is often true for the way we behave. We interpret our behavior in terms of how we think we come across, whereas everyone else sees the real thing. A360 assessmentis a great way to gain this perspective. It gathers feedback that is constructive, anonymous, and accurate. If you forego the 360 and solicit feedback in person, make certain you ask for feedback that is specific, avoiding broad questions and generalizations. For example, youre more likely to get an honest and accurate answer to, How well did I handle myself in the meeting when everyone disagreed with me? than to, Am I a good boss? And be careful to show that youre receptive to the feedback. If you flip out or get defensive every time somebody speaks their mind, theyre going to stop doing it.What/whom did I make better today?Thats another way of saying, Leave things be tter than you found them. Ending each day by asking yourself what or whom you made better is a great way to keep yourself grounded and focused on what really matters.Am I being true to my values?Do you ever get that nagging feeling that something is a little off in your life? This often happens when little behaviors creep up on you that violate your values. If spending quality time with your family is one of your primary values, but you keep staying late at work, theres a conflict. If you want that nagging little voice to go away, youre going to have to do something about it.If I achieved all of my goals, how would I feel? What can I do to feel that way as I work to achieve them?The ability to delay gratification in pursuit of your goals is one of the most fundamental prerequisites for success, but delaying gratification doesnt have to mean being miserable until you cross that finish line. You can achieve more- and have more fun doing it- if you let yourself feel some of that pride and pleasure along the way.What havent I taken the time to learn about?Its a big world out there, and its getting bigger all the time. Scientists have theorized that it once took 1,500 years for the accumulated knowledge in the world to double now it only takes a year or two. Dont get caught behind.In what areas of my life am I settling?When you settle, you accept less than youre capable of. Sometimes we settle in dead-end jobs. Other times we settle for unhealthy relationships. If you dont ask yourself where and why youre settling, its hard to stop it.What do I want my life to be like in five years?Lewis Carroll once said, If you dont know where youre going, any road will take you there. The corollary is that, once you have your destination in mind, you can plan your route. Five years is the perfect timeframe Its not so far in the future that you cant imagine yourself there, but its not so close that you cant do anything about it.What would I do if I wasnt scared?From a survival pe rspective, fear has its purpose. Its what keeps us from sticking our hand in the washing machine or any of the million other things that could get us hurt or killed. But fear has a tendency to get carried away. Instead of keeping you safe, it keeps you from improving your life and living your dreams.Who has qualities that I aspire to develop?When people have qualities that you admire, its a great exercise to reflect on these qualities and think about ways that you can incorporate them into your repertoire.What problem are we solving?Have you ever been in a meeting and suddenly realized that not everyone was having the same conversation? Not because people were talking over each other, but because they had different ideas about the purpose of the discussion. Sometimes it helps to put the topic on the whiteboard when youre having a meeting. This makes certain everyone knows why theyre there.Whats stopping me from doing the things that I should be doing?Its easy to shrug your shoulders and say, I dont know what to do, but thats just an excuse. Most of the time, we know exactly what we should be doing we just arent willing to move the obstacles out of the way.Will you be my mentor?Its an intimidating question to ask, but few people will turn you down. Everyone likes being looked up to, and it feels good to share our knowledge with others.Whats the most important lesson Ive learned so far in life? Am I living that lesson?Sometimes life lulls us back into complacency and were forced to learn a powerful lesson twice. The trouble with this is that its just as much of a rude awakening the second time around.Bringing It All TogetherAsking the hard questions can be extremely uncomfortable. But we dont learn and grow by sticking with whats comfortable.Travis Bradberryis the co-author ofEmotional Intelligence 2.0,and the cofounder ofTalentSmart.This article originally appeared on LinkedIn.13 questions that will change your lifeWhen things arent going quite the way youd lik e them to, its often the result of not asking yourself the right questions. Some questions are hard to confront because youre afraid you wont get the answer you want, others because you really dont want to know the answer.But the best things in life dont come easily, and turning away from lifes toughest questions is a sure path to mediocrity. I believe that Socrates said it bestThe unexamined life isnt worth living.Socrates observation also applies to business. When Eric Schmidt was CEO of Google, he famously said, We run this company on questions, not answers.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreLife, like business, runs on questions, not answers. Lets take a closer look at some of the tough questions we should be asking ourselves regularly.How do people see me differently than I see myself?Have you ever heard a recording of your voice and thought, Isthatwhat I really sound like? B ecause of the way the sound of the voice travels through the human skull, we never hear ourselves the same way that everybody else hears us. The same is often true for the way we behave. We interpret our behavior in terms of how we think we come across, whereas everyone else sees the real thing.A360 assessmentis a great way to gain this perspective. It gathers feedback that is constructive, anonymous, and accurate. If you forego the 360 and solicit feedback in person, make certain you ask for feedback that is specific, avoiding broad questions and generalizations.For example, youre more likely to get an honest and accurate answer to, How well did I handle myself in the meeting when everyone disagreed with me? than to, Am I a good boss? And be careful to show that youre receptive to the feedback. If you flip out or get defensive every time somebody speaks their mind, theyre going to stop doing it.What/whom did I make better today?Thats another way of saying, Leave things better than you found them. Ending each day by asking yourself what or whom you made better is a great way to keep yourself grounded and focused on what really matters.Am I being true to my values?Do you ever get that nagging feeling that something is a little off in your life? This often happens when little behaviors creep up on you that violate your values. If spending quality time with your family is one of your primary values, but you keep staying late at work, theres a conflict. If you want that nagging little voice to go away, youre going to have to do something about it.If I achieved all of my goals, how would I feel? What can I do to feel that way as I work to achieve them?The ability to delay gratification in pursuit of your goals is one of the most fundamental prerequisites for success, but delaying gratification doesnt have to mean being miserable until you cross that finish line. You can achieve more- and have more fun doing it- if you let yourself feel some of that pride and pleasu re along the way.What havent I taken the time to learn about?Its a big world out there, and its getting bigger all the time. Scientists have theorized that it once took 1,500 years for the accumulated knowledge in the world to double now it only takes a year or two. Dont get caught behind.In what areas of my life am I settling?When you settle, you accept less than youre capable of. Sometimes we settle in dead-end jobs. Other times we settle for unhealthy relationships. If you dont ask yourself where and why youre settling, its hard to stop it.What do I want my life to be like in five years?Lewis Carroll once said, If you dont know where youre going, any road will take you there. The corollary is that, once you have your destination in mind, you can plan your route. Five years is the perfect timeframe Its not so far in the future that you cant imagine yourself there, but its not so close that you cant do anything about it.What would I do if I wasnt scared?From a survival perspective, fear has its purpose. Its what keeps us from sticking our hand in the washing machine or any of the million other things that could get us hurt or killed. But fear has a tendency to get carried away. Instead of keeping you safe, it keeps you from improving your life and living your dreams.Who has qualities that I aspire to develop?When people have qualities that you admire, its a great exercise to reflect on these qualities and think about ways that you can incorporate them into your repertoire.What problem are we solving?Have you ever been in a meeting and suddenly realized that not everyone was having the same conversation? Not because people were talking over each other, but because they had different ideas about the purpose of the discussion. Sometimes it helps to put the topic on the whiteboard when youre having a meeting. This makes certain everyone knows why theyre there.Whats stopping me from doing the things that I should be doing?Its easy to shrug your shoulders and say, I dont know what to do, but thats just an excuse. Most of the time, we know exactly what we should be doing we just arent willing to move the obstacles out of the way.Will you be my mentor?Its an intimidating question to ask, but few people will turn you down. Everyone likes being looked up to, and it feels good to share our knowledge with others.Whats the most important lesson Ive learned so far in life? Am I living that lesson?Sometimes life lulls us back into complacency and were forced to learn a powerful lesson twice. The trouble with this is that its just as much of a rude awakening the second time around.Bringing It All TogetherAsking the hard questions can be extremely uncomfortable. But we dont learn and grow by sticking with whats comfortable.Travis Bradberryis the co-author ofEmotional Intelligence 2.0,and the cofounder ofTalentSmart.This article originally appeared on LinkedIn.